Flatrock/Hendersonville

Recently, I traveled to North Carolina’s Hendersonville/Flat Rock Chapter. Despite the weather we had a good turnout and there was a new face! YOUR chapter has an impact on others simply because it’s there. Just remember, you never know when that new person will show up at a meeting-keep persevering!

I must highlight the Greater Knoxville Area PFLAG Chapter. They (and others) recently held their first event for the public: a seminar for parenting GLBT children with Dr. Gary Grossman. Dr. Grossman has over 25 years psychoanalytical analysis experience in the GLBT community. The event was an overwhelming success with nearly 60 in attendance. This well received event went off without a hitch and is a great example of what can be done with a vision and a little teamwork.

Speaking of visions and teamwork, we need to find a chapter willing to be a host for a state/regional meeting. These meetings/conventions need to be at a place that could accommodate 50-60 people. This may seem like a big task, hosting a convention, but if we can find a chapter willing to find a venue for the event then we can get other chapters to take on responsibilities such as publicity and other needs. So please get with your chapters and let me know if you have any options for sponsoring a meeting.

PFLAG National also has a variety of training information so let us know what you would like the program to be – this is for you and your chapter so let us know what your needs are. From the chapters that I have talked to it seems like many of you want to know how to get the word out about your chapter and about PFLAG, how to maintain strong leadership, and how to better outreach to the community. Again, this event is for YOU, so what would most help you and your chapter?

Here’s wishing you and your chapter a productive 2010!

Jaime Combs

Transgender people serve as your doctors and professors, we fix your hair, your coffee or your computer, we entertain. There are also many transgender people who work in the sex industry–maybe they want to, maybe they face job discrimination, maybe they feel like it’s all that they are worth, maybe they have been disowned by family and simply thrown away–how many times can you hear that you are an abomination, a freak or made to feel less than human and still feel worthy of being a part of ‘mainstream’ society.

I have yet to meet a transgender person who has not had a suicide attempt or seriously contemplated suicide, and there are many suicides of transgender individuals that don’t get reported because of the ’shame’ associated with this condition.

I don’t know all of the reasons why people are transgender nor do I fully understand all of the reasons that this is such a difficult issue for many churches and for society to deal with. What I do know is that we don’t have to agree on everything but that everyone has the right to be treated with respect and dignity. Another thing that I also know is that there is an emptiness from the loss of my brothers and sisters whose lives were taken too early and their stories will never be told; and that I live with the fear that there is a greater probability I can be murdered or my friends can be attacked because of who I am (and I have witnessed firsthand the murder of a friend nearly a year ago and that will take a lifetime to heal). I know that I will cry a river this week, I know that I am depressed (I also know this will pass) and I know that there will be the dawn of a new day (although I can never say the sun will come out tomorrow-and some of you may know why). I know that the probability that more lives of my brothers and sisters being taken is inevitable; but I know that I will tell my story just a little more than I have in the past, and I know that I have seen changes in peoples attitudes and I know that I will not stop working for equality, and I know that now more than ever I am grateful for my family and for my friends.

I hope that everyone is finally enjoying some warmer weather and making summer plans.  I encourage you and your local PFLAG chapters to make plans to participate in any area Pride Celebrations and Parades.  You will find excellent opportunities to meet wonderful people and also to get the word out about the work that you are doing with PFLAG.  Hopefully you will see some of the impact from the work that PFLAG and other groups are accomplishing.

We have a lot to celebrate with our chapters and the work that they are doing and also we can celebrate the fact that marriage equality is being embraced by another state, legislation is being presented for justice to those who perpetrate crimes against us and I believe that we will see schools actively seek ways where students don’t have to suffer in silence from harassment and bullying.  We cannot rest until there is full equality and equality will not be attainable without YOU!

Speaking of celebrating, Tri-Cities PFLAG (east Tennessee) is celebrating their First Anniversary.  Kerry Holland (president) and John Shuck have provided EXCELLENCE in leadership and Tri-Cities PFLAG is a thriving chapter with energetic members who want to make a difference and are active in that pursuit.

Recently I had the honor of speaking, along with David and Joan Parker, at East Forsyth High School in Kernersville, North Carolina.  This is the first year for their GSA and the group was so inquisitive and SOOO polite.  How pleasant it is to see such accepting young people in high school, this is a club that would never have been allowed to form when I was in high school and to this day my high school STILL doesn’t have a GSA. 

I also recently had the joy of presenting Catherine Carmichael with a plaque honoring her dedication for the last 18 months as PFLAG Asheville’s president.  Catherine has recently resigned after serving tirelessly to PFLAG and the LGBT community in Western North Carolina.  One of the most recent programs and most successful programs of PFLAG Asheville is Youth OUTright, a dynamic group of young people which was started through PLFAG and is now their own independent entity.  Please view their website http://www.youthoutright.org/.

I would love to hear from your chapter.  The South-Atlantic Region covers the states of Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina and Kentucky.  Fortunately I have been able to visit chapters in Tennessee, Kentucky and North Carolina.  If you would like a visit don’t hesitate to call or e-mail me and we will get a time set up.

Jaime Combs
PFLAG Regional Director
South Atlantic Region
(865) 755-1362
jaime@pflagsouthatlantic.org

http://pflagsouthatlantic.org

At approximately 0004 hours on Tuesday April 14th Fayetteville Police Officers along with EMS responded to 119 Joseph St in Bonne Doone reference an unconscious, unresponsive subject. Upon their arrival to the scene officers discovered a B/M approximately 35 years of age deceased at the edge of the roadway in front of 119 Joseph St. The investigation is currently being worked as a homicide. The name of the victim is not being released pending notification of the next of kin. Anyone with information regarding this investigation is encouraged to contact the Fayetteville Police Department Homicide Investigation Unit at 433-1856 or call Crime Stoppers at 483-TIPS (483-8477)

Q-Notes News Article

Police confirmed on Tuesday afternoon the identity of a homicide victim found near a local gay and lesbian bar.

According to the Fayetteville Police Department, officers found transgender drag performer Imaje Devera (born Jimmy Ali McCollough), 34, shortly after midnight on April 14 in front of 119 Joseph St. The body was found near Club Emages, formerly Club Spektrum.

Police are not releasing any more information at the time, including how the victim died, citing the sensitive nature of the case.

Club Emages owner Dy’Mond Cartier told Raleigh news station WRAL that police said Devera had been stabbed and that the case was being investigated as a hate crime.

The first annual gala was truly an evening to remember with not even the smallest detail being left out.  The enormous task of organizing an event like this, especially considering PFLAG’s small national staff, was definitely a testament to their dedication and hard work.  The event was executed flawlessly and the efforts of all raised over a quarter of a million dollars to advance equality!  Congratulations PFLAG!

‘Straight for Equality’ has provided training for over 2,000 people and it empowers all people in supporting and advocating for the rights of GLBT people.  This program has been a wonderful outreach opportunity to engage allies to the GLBT movement and to introduce people to PFLAG and what we are all about.  ’Straight for Equality in the Workplace’ is one of the programs and it has been given to more than 20 U.S. corporation.  ’Straight for Equality’ will also launch a new module of this program for the healthcare profession in 2009 and in the future will have modules in faith and also in education.

 I have lived all my life in Tennessee and am regional director for the South Atlantic Region (one of the most conservative regions).  I was so impressed to see what can be accomplished through the support of straight allies, GLBT people and PFLAG when we come together to support equality in one of the most diverse and supportive regions.  New York has allowed me for the first time in my life to experience a brief moment where I could say that I honestly felt equality–there were no judgments about gender or who we love, there were no looks of scorn and not one time did I hear whispers or even blatantly disrespectful comments.  My friends, we have a lot of work to do.

Dr. Johnetta B. Cole, an honoree of the gala, spoke and exclaimed that we have gone from asking for tolerance (of the GLBT community) to asking for acceptance.  I am happy to say that the South Atlantic Region of PFLAG has transcended mere acceptance and instead practices embracing the GLBT community.  Thank you.

In addition to the gala we also had our regional director’s meeting.  I will send another communication about the meeting soon.

Blessings,
Jaime Combs
South Atlantic Regional Director
PFLAG

On May 16, 2007, Sean Kennedy, a 20-year old gay man, was attacked on the streets of Greenville, South Carolina. He died of his injuries later that night. Yet, because of the lack of hate crimes legislation, his attacker may be eligible for parole in February!

Sean was a brave young man with a bright, infectious smile. But his life was cut short and justice left unserved.  Now, PFLAG is joining with Sean’s mother, Elke Kennedy, and asking all of our members to write to the parole board and urge them to rule that Moller must serve his complete sentence for this heinous, anti-gay crime.

Because South Carolina – and many other states- lack protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people, Moller was able to plea-bargain to involuntary manslaughter charges (considered a “non-violent crime”) and received a suspended five to three years sentence for his crime. Because of the credit he received for time served before sentencing, his full sentence means that he will be free in September 2009. And he is also eligible for parole in February, which means that he will have served only 8 months of his full sentence for Sean’s death. 

The parole board is currently conducting a review on whether to grant Moller parole.  It is critically important that they hear from our community, and that we each send a strong message that it is unacceptable to grant such early parole following a brutal anti-gay murder! 

Please join us in writing a letter to the parole board, and ask them to deny Stephen Moller’s parole. If you have the time, please write a personal letter by hand or by computer, as those will be the most effective, and if you knew Sean or his family personally, please include that information. 

Also, please let Elke Kennedy, Sean’s mother, know if you send a letter. Elke has asked that you also send her a copy of the letter, so she can have copies to take with her to the parole hearing. This will help her in building her case – and send a clear message that PFLAG families won’t tolerate anti-gay violence. 

Be sure to include Moller’s full name and ID number: Stephen Andrew Moller – SCDC ID # 00328891. 

Send your letters to: 
Department of Probation Pardon and Parole Services 
2221 Devine Street, Suite 600, 
PO Box 50666 
Columbia, SC 29250 

Also, please be sure to send a copy to Elke Kennedy, Sean’s mother. You can send materials to her at: elke@seanslastwish.org

Or via mail: Elke Kennedy 
PO Box 5697 
Greenville, SC 29606 

Be sure to read about PFLAG’s policy position in advocating for federal hate crimes legislation, too – to ensure that all people in all states have protections, and that future anti-gay violence will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!

Wow, another year has come and gone so fast that I think I may have whiplash! Hopefully you and your local chapter will be able to review some of your accomplishments in 2008 and have new goals to achieve in 2009. One thing for sure is that if anything was accomplished it was because you didn’t quit, and I see many examples of that attitude throughout the PFLAG organization. That same determination will make this a fantastic 2009 for this organization. Your enthusiasm is contagious and I want to say ‘Thank You’.

Fortunately for my partner Carla and I we were able to experience this enthusiasm and see what it can accomplish a few weeks ago in Berea, Kentucky. Berea is one of most beautiful and accepting towns that I have ever visited. You must go just to experience the richness of it’s history and character, see the handiwork of all the local artisans, and enjoy all the hospitality.

Berea is a very progressive little town with a PFLAG chapter that has seen it’s membership slowly dwindle down. Sometimes when we are in areas that seem to be so accepting it may seem that the need for a PFLAG chapter may not be necessary but the day I arrived Berea’s PFLAG president, Grover Farr, told me stories he had only recently heard of local young people who had been rejected by their families for coming out. There is such a need for PFLAG.

 This PFLAG chapter that may have been struggling has also made a positive impact on lives which was apparent when Grover showed me a stained glass piece that had been given to the local chapter by a young man whose life had been touched by PFLAG.

PFLAG-Berea/Madison County has enthusiasm and determination and when the Cincinnati Men’s Chorus contacted them about hosting a Holiday Concert this chapter made things happen. Grover Farr and the PFLAG chapter took a lot of elbow grease and a lot of faith made this an evening that was the highlight of the holiday season for Carla and me. They secured Union Church for the performance that would have the audience members experiencing laughter, tears and joy for the season. The quality of the performance was undeniable and the acoustics of the large mostly wooden sanctuary with one of the most beautiful church organs I have seen. Grover and PFLAG-Berea/Madison County–kudos to you and thank you for the inspiration.

I was also able to visit the Tri-Cities PFLAG chapter in Johnson City. This is a newer chapter and boy are they on fire! The Tri-Cities December meeting featured representatives from Lambda Legal who are representing a case where I would say the victim has suffered unfair treatment from the local law enforcement agency and from the local paper. The victim in this matter was also present at the meeting and he has been without work for a year because of a press release from the police department–the pain in his voice was so undeniable. The thing even more disturbing to me is the fact that there was one voice that wasn’t heard from this incident and that was the voice of a man who would kill himself as a result of this event. How many precious lives have been lost and how many precious lives will we lose before equality is reality?

One thing that I encourage all of you to do is go see the movie MILK. The movie gives so much history to let the newer generation see how the road was paved in creating the movement we have today. I have heard from many chapters that are actively getting the movie in your area or planning to see the movie and then possibly have discussions. Milk was brought to Knoxville, Tennessee in December by the Tennessee Equality Project, Knoxville Human Rights for All and other groups. Following the well attended movie several leaders of various groups were invited to speak briefly and I was able tell a little about PFLAG and what we do.

During the last of 2008 the Southern Atlantic Region of PFLAG has experienced another travesty in Memphis, Tennessee as many of you may have heard. We have had another trans-sister shot, shot in face and hospitalized. I haven’t heard anything else about her this past week. She is the third transsexual to be shot in Memphis during the last 6 months (the two others were found dead). Then again today I read of the lesbian who was gang raped repeatedly in San Francisco. Another new day and another new year, and on this new day of this new year I will shed some tears but I will also experience hope because I see concern on the faces of the members of chapters that I meet, I see the work that you are doing and I am very confident in the leadership and commitment of PFLAG National.

Blessings for 2009,
Jaime Combs

My name is Jaime Combs and I am now the new South Atlantic Regional Director since Jerry Miller’s term has ended.  Recently we had a regional director’s meeting in Washington, D.C. which gave me an opportunity to meet other regional directors and personally meet the president of PFLAG and it’s staff.  Everyone was onhand to watch Jerry Miller being recognized for his service.  Jerry has always been an active part of PFLAG and we are very fortunate to have his continued support at the Asheville chapter.(He has also agreed to be a resource for me!)

I grew up in Elizabethton a small town of northeast Tennessee.  When I left Elizabethton it was to attend Johnson Bible College in Knoxville.  I thought I would be able to place my focus entirely on service and ministry.  However, it became glaringly apparent that in order to be of service, I must also be allowed to be the person that I felt God had created.

Unfortunately, who I was and the path I felt was right for me would not be acceptable to the college or the more conservative churches where I grew up.  I grew up always knowing that I was “different” because although my gender was biologically male my identity was overwhelmingly female.  I thought that this would just be a “cross I would have to bear” and that people like me had to have great wealth to have surgery, move away to a place where no one knows you, and hopefully get re-established.  Fortunately, I found a good therapist who counseled transgendered people and  I was  able to develop into the person that I am.

I currently live with my partner of 5 years, Carla, who is also transgendered.  I had always wanted to work with youth; four years ago, Carla’s two children came to live with us.  The children are now young adults and have moved on.  It has allowed us to be a little more active for the GLBT community without bringing any unwanted attention to them.  It has been difficult with both our children leaving home to go to Oklahoma, but don’t worry about me getting “empty nest” syndrome.  Carla and I have 5 birds! (For the bird enthusiasts: we have a Ruby Macaw, a Blue and Gold Macaw, a Cockatoo and two Solomon Island Eclectus)

Over the years I have come in contact with many people from the GLBT community.  I have felt the shame and embarrassment of GLBT people confessing to me their “secret”; lost two extraordinarily bright, talented, and loving people to suicide because they couldn’t bear the pain of being different; and this year, I witnessed fear and hatred consume someone so deeply they would kill people.  These victims were not part of the GLBT community, but they were targeted because they would associate with people who were different.  (I am referring to the July 27th shooting at my church, TVUUC in Knoxville, TN.) These many events have now made it a necessity for me to take part in groups that are making a positive impact.  PFLAG was a natural choice.

As your regional director I have been struggling with paperwork for my chapter, which many of you may be dealing with as well.  Carla and I were able to attend a meeting in Johnson City, TN at the Tri-Cities PFLAG chapter.  It is so very encouraging to see the good work and all the energy at the Tri-Cities PFLAG, which is a newer chapter.  I am looking forward to seeing their future accomplishments.

This Saturday, I will be traveling to Berea, Kentucky to see the Cincinnatti Men’s Chorus perform.  This event for all of Berea to enjoy will only be possible because of the hard work from the Berea chapter, one of PFLAG’s chapters that has been re-forming.  What a wonderful way to get PFLAG’s name out in such a public setting.  Grover and the Berea chapter, we applaud your diligence to bring Saturday’s performance to fruition.  Best of luck and I will look forward to meeting you.

I look forward to correspondence with your chapter and I am committed to service and visiting many of your local chapters in the next two years.

May this be a truly joyous time for you, and may your chapters be renewed as we look forward to a new year.  Blessings to all this holiday season!